Sleep paralysis has returned. I mean, they never really stopped, but they were short and panic attack-less and just generally less intense. So that's... fun. Or the other thing. Vile. I can't even hide in sleep now.
In other news, I've got my initial assessment in just 2 days. So at least I don't have to hold out too much longer for help. I really hate feeling like this. Like my insides are hollow and the world is underwater and everything is wobbly and I'm not even swimming in it or floating really. More like I'm drowning, except I suspect I'd feel more if I was drowning.
Mostly, I'm just tired. Tired of pretending I'm okay all the time. Tired of feeling like I should be able to will myself well. Tired of feeling like I have to justify myself. Tired of fighting my own mind.
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